"Checking the Descent Into Unethical Chaos"

In previous blogs consideration was given to the descent into chaos.  Applying that descent to relationships means among other things, that without a clear vision of roles, responsibilities, and as well the strength of character to live out those things, there will be consequences, intended and otherwise.  Ultimately without checking it, that decent will end in unethical chaos.  Take for example the three relationships of life.

It seems to me that the pay offs in any relationship includes a sense of security, a sense of loving acceptance, a sense of appreciation, and a sense of nurturing care.  The problems come when these things are not a part of the relationship and the reason they are most often not present is that they are challenged by the aforementioned decent toward unethical chaos in general and in particular into relational chaos.

While most relationships begin on a noble level, left to their own ends and because of man's propensity for self gratification they can very quickly become an exercise in "what is in it for me?"  Me being the insatiable self!  That is without acceptance of the other and the extension of effort even the best of relationships will unravel into a series of very chaotic interactions that for the most part provide no nurture and in fact opens one or both parties to manipulation.

The outcome is that there is a decrease in the capacity for growth, the quality of communication drops, the nurturing effect disappears, and the sense of care is absent.  All that is necessary for the relationship and its participant to began the downward descent is present.

Consider now the previously mentioned three crucial relationships of life.  If it is a relationship with God degrades, then it opens the door to great misunderstanding and mistrust in His ultimate goodness, love, and care.  If such a decent into chaos is with another the same things will accrue to one or both until the relationship becomes unsustainable because it is one of destruction and distancing.  If such is true of one's relationship with and within themselves, again chaos will have consequences in the mental, the emotional, and the volitional arenas of one's life.  

In terms of outcome, such relational chaos as is being described results in the fracturing of the human spirit.  More and more, even secular mental health providers are understanding that treatment must ultimately be on levels deeper than the mind, will, and emotions.  Failure to deal with issues related to the broken spirit can and most often do lead then to deep set issues of anger and bitterness.  The emotional outlay then leads to depression.  

A point of clarification is in order.  As to the chaotic relationship with God, it does not mean that the Eternal is inconsistent and therefore untrustworthy, but that the human part of the relationship is so.  However, since mankind has a propensity for shifting and deflecting responsibility, such chaos as may exist is seen as the responsibility of the Divine.  Most certainly this is another example of the challenge of good by evil.

What, you may ask, is the solution to chaotic and thus disturbed relationships?  A fair question to be sure.

In the simplified, it is summed in one word or should I say phrase--a deep sense of trustworthiness.

A deep sense that the God who is, can be trusted in any and all of the circumstances of life.  While we may not understand His goodness, His ways of caring, and the ways that His love is expressed, it is none the less  essential that we arrive at the conviction of His trustworthiness on a level deeper than mental assent.  It may begin there but must penetrate deep into one's spirit and one's convictions.

As to relationships with others, most certainly there are those who are not to be trusted.  However, there are those in our various worlds who may be counted upon when all else and all others fail.  These are those who are worthy of our trust for though they might not be possessed of great and winsome personalities, hold social positions, possess much in terms of materialism, or wield great amounts of  power, etc. they none the less, are people of deep ethical conviction.

Such deep ethical conviction is reflected in the many arenas of life to include faith, family, and friends etc.  Said another way their deep ethical convictions keep them from spiraling downward into unethical chaos as it results in their living out of character qualities.  Qualities such as honesty, integrity, creativity, thriftiness, sincerity, courage, sensitivity, obedience, and alertness etc.

Then we come to the matter of one's relationship with one's self.  Such can only be characterized by the peace found in self acceptance and deep inner confidence.  Those qualities and other come when one lives out character qualities in the personal and quiet places of life.  

Consider that one dare not hope for sound and affirming relations with God and with man if such an one is not possessed of a penchant for living life, based not upon the winds of change, not upon the pressure of circumstance, not upon the challenge of feelings, but based on rightness of heart--rightness of heart when measured by transcendent, objective, and universal qualities of right and wrong.  All else contributes to the downward spiral into the abyss of unethical chaos.