"Respect"

Respect is a word that has quite a history and over those years of use there are nuances of difference in meaning.  However, which ever period one chooses to view the outcome is the same.  Respect is a matter of how one person treats another.  As to definition consider the following.

Respect is from the Latin respectus and literally means "the act of looking back at one." Included is the notions of "look back at, regard, consider,"  which comes from re- "back" + specere "look at" The verb is from the mid 1500s and means to "treat with deferential regard or esteem."  (adapted from definition found at http://www.etymonline.com/abbr.php) 

Said another way respect is to "treat with reverent or courteous regard—to value, hold in esteem, or high regard.”  In other words, it is a relationship word. 

Some 4,500-6,000 years earlier the Hebrew Language uses the word in the sense of  “to lift” or we would say “to lift up”one's regard for a person or a people.  Then the Greeks came along and added the dimension of feeling and their word meant “to feel respect for.”  Feeling or not, it speaks to the quality of relationship. 

There are it seems to me two applications of the word.

First, it describes how we treat another person.  An example would be in the following.  She treated her the older woman with respect as she listened to her story for the tenth time.  Another way of saying it is that she had a respectful demeanor.

Recently I read the remarks by a young woman by the name of Sara as she wrote of respect.  She works in a local court system and writes about her contact with those who have run afoul of the Law.

"I realized...that the respect I show these people isn't because they have necessarily earned it or deserve it but because there is also an Ethic of Respect.  That Ethic of Respect comes from a decision to intentionally obey the rules of conduct put into place by something greater than just my feelings."

She went on to say, "I don't always respect every customer I come into contact with but I always show them respect..."

Respect is a small gift that each can easily afford to tailor made and then give to another.  One never knows the outcome of such a gift.  It may well be an instrument of change in the life of another.

Second, there is respect as in how we react within.  An example would be the reaction we might have to another who is consistent of character.  One who no matter the winds or tides stays to the course.  It is to be the genuine living out of character qualities.  Such is found in statements as for instance “I respect your honesty.”  We might add other words such as, integrity, punctuality, sensitivity, boldness, determination, dependability, faith, and many others.

Notice that in both cases it does not mean that one has to even like or agree with the person respected.  There can be great respect between people who have different presuppositions about an issue and thus have diametrically opposing viewpoints as they interact based upon the previous list of words and others like them.  Generally speaking respect between even enemies can be maintained when both sides function in not so much a moral but in an ethical manner.

The benefit is that when a person treats even people one does not necessarily like nor gravitate toward, with respect, there is a benefit that will accrue.  Such a benefit may not be readily apparent but more than one person has been "bailed out" by a person who while they disagree with, has received their respect.

"Cultural Competence" CT8

Overview:  In considering the terms Sensitivity and Diversity, there is for some a certain imposition involved.  It is not as though one has a choice in the matter of relationships with the members and adherents of other cultures, sub-cultures, religions, and ethnicities.    However, it must be remembered that this is not a matter of relationship between by group and another's group.  It is a matter of relationship!

The relationships in between and within certain groups are complex and one will not easily exhaust all the is necessary for there to be some modicum of reasonable relationship across the varieties of people with which one contacts.  To say that this is impossible is an understatement.

Add to the mix the unspoken pressure to accept and even celebrate the culture of racial minorities the problem of how to function becomes more complex.  In my world alone there are Blacks, Koreans, Mexicans and other Hispanics, Romanians, and others.

In order to function in these various cultures one must develop, not Sensitivity and Diversity but Cultural Competence.    Cultural Competence is based upon four core competencies and yes, cultural, sub-cultural, and ethnic understanding is important.

In fact these four competencies are so essential that one does not even have to like or agree with another's culture etc. for them to work.  For example one can show respect to another, no matter the personal feelings involved.  The same goes for the other elements involved.

The Cultural Competence competencies are,

• Respect--certainly some understanding of the other's culture helps here.
• Honesty--one must not deny one's ethics, what they are and what they believe
• Honor--give honor to the other person
• Permission--seek permission before speaking or acting

The mode necessary to make these work is questioning.  In other words, if one is going to learn to function in the Western brand of a particular culture, a few well placed questions will yield the information necessary for one to do so.  

Therefore the following is offered.

THE SCALE OF CULTURAL COMPETENCE

Overview:  There those who are so opposed to other cultures.  Such people are termed Culturally Destructive.  Then there are those who are incapable of grasping cultural issues and are thus viewed as Culturally Incapable.  The third group contains those who though capable choose to not recognize cultural differences and this group is named the Cultural Blind.  Beyond these three groups are those who in some degree or another do or do not possess the cross cultural skills and are not opposed to gaining same.

It is not in the purview of this study to discuss the first three categories nor to provide any antithetical argument in hopes of changing such a person or group.  The remaining categories are where the focus is going to be.

Assumptions and Presuppositions


It is out of the purview of this section to discuss the nuances of difference in these words.  That will be reserved for another time.

As in many other areas of life, one's capacity to function is strongly influenced by presuppositions and assumptions.  Of course basic to one's words and actions are things one supposes or takes for grant to be true and thus those things serve as the foundation.  It can often involve conjecture, deduction, and speculation.

Thus the importance of questioning!

THE ROAD TO RELATIONSHIP

Let us be clear!  The discussion is safe when it is kept on the level of relationships of the individual with another's culture or culture to culture.  What is a great deal more challenging and threatening is the relationship between people.

It is possible for a vibrant, affirming, and healthy relationship to exist between people who are polar opposites from one another.  What is necessary is that there be understanding and acceptance which in an age that suffers from a lack of clearly defined boundaries and a fair amount of enabling behavior can be quite difficult.  A common task, a common challenge, or a common foe also helps the process


Cultural Pre-competence:  The beginning of right relationships.

This is the point at which a person who perceives that there are cultural differences seeks understanding of the other person to include the influence and practice of that person's culture.  Though this generally focuses upon one side of the relationship, it may be that both need to understand something of the other's culture.

Included would be some foundational understandings of the other's race, gender, religious belief, ethnicity, referent group, sub-culture, and sensitivities.  This does not mean that one has to agree with,  embrace, or celebrate those things.  It simply means to come to some understanding of what those things mean to the other and thus their effect upon the relationship involved.

Cultural Competence:  Continuing right relationships.


As understanding and skills increase there continues to be greater perception of and understanding of cultural differences.  This persona has developed a greater degree of understanding and with that understanding a greater understanding of how to effectively relate.

With increased understanding there is a danger and that danger is the stereotyping of the other according some knowledge of the culture.  Take for example the case where an Asian child is adopted at birth by a Western family.  The appearance of the child, now adult is Asian but the ethnicity is Western.  To stereotype in this case can be the basis of great difficulty.

Cultural Proficiency:  Maximizing right relationships.

The understanding and skills to operate within the framework they provide are continually being tuned.  This is the point at which one can be both honest about himself and as the same time treat the other with honor and respect.  Knowledge of the other is key and essential.

UPGRADING CULTURAL COMPETENCY SKILLS

Just as culture is ever dynamic (see previous blog) so too is the necessity for a continue honing of skills.  What follows are some of the guides necessary to function with some competency in relationships.  Because they are interrelated, they are presented in no particular order of importance.

Since the following is a continuing process, there is a strategy if employed, which can be of great benefit.  The OODA Loop is the process of Observing, Orienting, Deciding, and Acting.  One might have several OODA Loops in process at the same time as one deals with others.  For example one might be reading body language, then verbiage, and then emotions, etc., all the while reorienting his half of the interactions, deciding what is appropriate, and then taking action.

1. Boundaries:  Relationships are best when the boundaries of those relationships are mutually understood.
2. Values:  Some understanding of the basis of values is necessary and as well the degree of importance placed upon those values.  In particular are the values ethics based or mores based?  If they are mores based then what are those mores and how important are they? However, it is important to keep in mind that to discard one's own values does not allow for the aforementioned honesty.  That leads to the next point.
3. Self Awareness:  Careful examination of one's own cultural values and beliefs is key to how one responds to another's values.  Keep in mind that honor and respect are not necessarily based upon what one values and believes but on how one treats another.  However, such treatment must never violate one's personal values.
4. Cross-cultural knowledge:  Understanding the culture of another may be the basis of understanding the individual member of that culture.  This again is a dynamic activity which requires a certain vigilance.  However, here as already noted is a danger and that danger is assumption.  It is in assuming too much that one can stereotype another.  
5. Cross-cultural skills:  Simply converting one's knowledge to action is a continuing action.   

As previously noted the OODA Loop figures prominently in these processes.  

Most important in all of this is to remember that one's relationship with another is a dynamic entity that must be kept within certain boundaries in order that it not assume a life of its own.  Key is that such boundaries be based upon one's convictions and values.  Even so, there is nothing to suggest that one cannot do his part to establish and maintain a healthy and beneficial relationship even with those who are diametrically different.  Such is only possible when one lives out respect, honor, honesty, and seeks the permission of the other.