Giving Away One's Word!

What does the giving of one’s word mean?

Without integrity of word and behavior it is impossible to check man’s descent into chaos.  This would be true of the individual as well as the culture!

At one time one’s word once given and due to a man’s character was as real as truth.  It was in that time that a man did not need to execute a contract because a man’s word meant something.  It was his sacred duty to keep his word and so “A man’s word was his bond.”  Said another way he held himself in the bonds of his word.  Such was so unless released by the other party.  It was an issue or personal ethics.

Often one carried out his word; it was viewed as his sacred duty because it spoke to his personal reputation and his honor.  Thus a man even at great personal cost, loss of material wealth, or even loss of his own life, could be counted upon to do what he said he would do and behave as he said he would behave. 

Sadly in today’s culture one is beyond naïve if he does business on a handshake.  Recently I was in a meeting in which it was decided that the group would purchase a series of products at an agreed upon price.  It was moved, seconded, and passed.  There was no contract only a verbal agreement that the product would be produced at a certain price point. 

The product arrived and then it was revealed to the group that there were additional “set up” charges.  It was moved, seconded, and passed that we pay the additional charges.  There were two dissenting “no” votes.  The reason I so voted was based solely on the fact that there had been an agreement and that the other party had made an agreement and then did not perform according to the agreement.

How one keeping his or her word has changed.  Today if one feels that he inconvenienced or feels that the costs involved are too unfair, such a person seeks to be divested of any responsibility to carry though with his commitments.  He may blame circumstances and comfortably believe he is absolved of such responsibility as his word has established however in making the decision and in giving himself such permission, he does incur another consequence that may ultimately be more costly and inconvenient.  Indeed it is a character issue!

The simple truth is that for one to act outside of his word gives practical expression to the moral fiber of his heart.  It very clearly suggests a life and belief system which is void of such things as trust, honor, honesty, respect for others, and personal integrity.  To gain such a reputation is a consequence and a cost much higher than any inconvenience or material loss that may accrue.

The business community is littered with failures neither because of quality nor craftsmanship but because a man would excuse himself from keeping his word.  Such a decision is not without consequence in one’s own life and in the lives of those he contacts.  We found such to be so in a home project—a kitchen remodel in which the cabinet installer just could not seem to keep his word.

Is it any wonder that we live in a culture that is unraveling?  Some years ago I formed a “handshake” agreement with a service manager to have certain work done on my car at a certain price.  All was well and good until I got the bill.  Later I found out that he did the same thing with others and that he was dismissed from the position by the owner.  The sad part is that someone else hired him in the same position and so he went on deceiving other unsuspecting customers. 

The question we all need to consider is this.  What does it mean when we give our word to another?  Is it a gift that can be counted upon or is it a gift that will be taken back?  Your trustworthiness is based or we might say finds its foundation in your answer!

"Cultural Competence" CT8

Overview:  In considering the terms Sensitivity and Diversity, there is for some a certain imposition involved.  It is not as though one has a choice in the matter of relationships with the members and adherents of other cultures, sub-cultures, religions, and ethnicities.    However, it must be remembered that this is not a matter of relationship between by group and another's group.  It is a matter of relationship!

The relationships in between and within certain groups are complex and one will not easily exhaust all the is necessary for there to be some modicum of reasonable relationship across the varieties of people with which one contacts.  To say that this is impossible is an understatement.

Add to the mix the unspoken pressure to accept and even celebrate the culture of racial minorities the problem of how to function becomes more complex.  In my world alone there are Blacks, Koreans, Mexicans and other Hispanics, Romanians, and others.

In order to function in these various cultures one must develop, not Sensitivity and Diversity but Cultural Competence.    Cultural Competence is based upon four core competencies and yes, cultural, sub-cultural, and ethnic understanding is important.

In fact these four competencies are so essential that one does not even have to like or agree with another's culture etc. for them to work.  For example one can show respect to another, no matter the personal feelings involved.  The same goes for the other elements involved.

The Cultural Competence competencies are,

• Respect--certainly some understanding of the other's culture helps here.
• Honesty--one must not deny one's ethics, what they are and what they believe
• Honor--give honor to the other person
• Permission--seek permission before speaking or acting

The mode necessary to make these work is questioning.  In other words, if one is going to learn to function in the Western brand of a particular culture, a few well placed questions will yield the information necessary for one to do so.  

Therefore the following is offered.

THE SCALE OF CULTURAL COMPETENCE

Overview:  There those who are so opposed to other cultures.  Such people are termed Culturally Destructive.  Then there are those who are incapable of grasping cultural issues and are thus viewed as Culturally Incapable.  The third group contains those who though capable choose to not recognize cultural differences and this group is named the Cultural Blind.  Beyond these three groups are those who in some degree or another do or do not possess the cross cultural skills and are not opposed to gaining same.

It is not in the purview of this study to discuss the first three categories nor to provide any antithetical argument in hopes of changing such a person or group.  The remaining categories are where the focus is going to be.

Assumptions and Presuppositions


It is out of the purview of this section to discuss the nuances of difference in these words.  That will be reserved for another time.

As in many other areas of life, one's capacity to function is strongly influenced by presuppositions and assumptions.  Of course basic to one's words and actions are things one supposes or takes for grant to be true and thus those things serve as the foundation.  It can often involve conjecture, deduction, and speculation.

Thus the importance of questioning!

THE ROAD TO RELATIONSHIP

Let us be clear!  The discussion is safe when it is kept on the level of relationships of the individual with another's culture or culture to culture.  What is a great deal more challenging and threatening is the relationship between people.

It is possible for a vibrant, affirming, and healthy relationship to exist between people who are polar opposites from one another.  What is necessary is that there be understanding and acceptance which in an age that suffers from a lack of clearly defined boundaries and a fair amount of enabling behavior can be quite difficult.  A common task, a common challenge, or a common foe also helps the process


Cultural Pre-competence:  The beginning of right relationships.

This is the point at which a person who perceives that there are cultural differences seeks understanding of the other person to include the influence and practice of that person's culture.  Though this generally focuses upon one side of the relationship, it may be that both need to understand something of the other's culture.

Included would be some foundational understandings of the other's race, gender, religious belief, ethnicity, referent group, sub-culture, and sensitivities.  This does not mean that one has to agree with,  embrace, or celebrate those things.  It simply means to come to some understanding of what those things mean to the other and thus their effect upon the relationship involved.

Cultural Competence:  Continuing right relationships.


As understanding and skills increase there continues to be greater perception of and understanding of cultural differences.  This persona has developed a greater degree of understanding and with that understanding a greater understanding of how to effectively relate.

With increased understanding there is a danger and that danger is the stereotyping of the other according some knowledge of the culture.  Take for example the case where an Asian child is adopted at birth by a Western family.  The appearance of the child, now adult is Asian but the ethnicity is Western.  To stereotype in this case can be the basis of great difficulty.

Cultural Proficiency:  Maximizing right relationships.

The understanding and skills to operate within the framework they provide are continually being tuned.  This is the point at which one can be both honest about himself and as the same time treat the other with honor and respect.  Knowledge of the other is key and essential.

UPGRADING CULTURAL COMPETENCY SKILLS

Just as culture is ever dynamic (see previous blog) so too is the necessity for a continue honing of skills.  What follows are some of the guides necessary to function with some competency in relationships.  Because they are interrelated, they are presented in no particular order of importance.

Since the following is a continuing process, there is a strategy if employed, which can be of great benefit.  The OODA Loop is the process of Observing, Orienting, Deciding, and Acting.  One might have several OODA Loops in process at the same time as one deals with others.  For example one might be reading body language, then verbiage, and then emotions, etc., all the while reorienting his half of the interactions, deciding what is appropriate, and then taking action.

1. Boundaries:  Relationships are best when the boundaries of those relationships are mutually understood.
2. Values:  Some understanding of the basis of values is necessary and as well the degree of importance placed upon those values.  In particular are the values ethics based or mores based?  If they are mores based then what are those mores and how important are they? However, it is important to keep in mind that to discard one's own values does not allow for the aforementioned honesty.  That leads to the next point.
3. Self Awareness:  Careful examination of one's own cultural values and beliefs is key to how one responds to another's values.  Keep in mind that honor and respect are not necessarily based upon what one values and believes but on how one treats another.  However, such treatment must never violate one's personal values.
4. Cross-cultural knowledge:  Understanding the culture of another may be the basis of understanding the individual member of that culture.  This again is a dynamic activity which requires a certain vigilance.  However, here as already noted is a danger and that danger is assumption.  It is in assuming too much that one can stereotype another.  
5. Cross-cultural skills:  Simply converting one's knowledge to action is a continuing action.   

As previously noted the OODA Loop figures prominently in these processes.  

Most important in all of this is to remember that one's relationship with another is a dynamic entity that must be kept within certain boundaries in order that it not assume a life of its own.  Key is that such boundaries be based upon one's convictions and values.  Even so, there is nothing to suggest that one cannot do his part to establish and maintain a healthy and beneficial relationship even with those who are diametrically different.  Such is only possible when one lives out respect, honor, honesty, and seeks the permission of the other.