"Do I Really Want The Pain Go Away?"

Dismissing the Discomfort

Maybe you have noticed as I have, that there is a rejection of and even a rebellion against that which is  painful.  Such attitudes have progressed or we might even say regressed until there is rejection of and rebellion against that which is even mildly disagreeable to us.  How often have you heard someone in a mildly objectionable circumstance make the statement that they deserve better.

Yet in considering those situations and circumstances most people with any self awareness at all understand that when difficulty comes, their emotional reaction fits somewhere between mildly disagreeable to deep agony.  Certainly there are a number of words that one might employ to describe his emotional reaction.

Another element is that different people respond to the same circumstances with different emotional reactions.  In other words ones' capacity to deal with difficulty is very individual and thus what one person might view as mildly unpleasant, another might view as extremely offensive.

Why is this rejection and even rebellion so?  Would it not be easier to just move to contrite acceptance.  Consider the following as a possible answer to that question!  

Consider as well that such a desire for restoration creates a tension with the world in which one lives as one seeks to negate the effects of living in and among fallen people, in fallen bodies, in a fallen world order, and in a fallen environment.  This falleness is is not as God intended in the original creation.

Since mankind is created in the image of the Divine, there is within each of us a spark of the Divine--a vestige  though marred by self and sin of the "created in God's image" part of man.  Within that spark are a number of the higher values of man such as creative expression, justice, etc.  There also is the desire for restoration.


It then follows that as we are in a straightened circumstances, that we should be stressed.  However, there is more and it is that we who live with the Divine in view before us, should  stress these things!  That is we should be a stress to those elements of life that create or should we say occasion our reactions on the mildly disagreeable to deep agony emotional reaction scale.

Said another way, just as God's provision of a way for man to be restored to Himself so too within mankind in general and within each man there is that penchant for restoration.  For example, suppose sees another person who has lost the capacity to walk.  Further the first person knows of a medical miracle worker who can restore the capacity to walk.  Most people even though risking scorn, would tell the person in hopes that the stranger who they might never see again would be restored as opposed to simply accepting the situation.


So it is when we are emotionally embroiled in the discomforts and inconveniences of the unpalatable situations and circumstances of life.  Such a "restorative" desire occasions action and such action in some sense seeks to redeem or buy back ourselves and others from the negative situations, circumstances, and feelings that come upon a person.  Another example would be seeking to once again be healthy following major surgery.

However, there must be a healthy caveat in this discussion and it has to do with God's intervention in the lives of  His followers for His purposes.  

Yes, we want to fix the objectionable elements of our lives.  However, it may be that God's intention is that we gracefully carry the uncomfortable elements of our lives.  You see there are some things for which we must be responsible.  On the other hand, there are other things, even if we were vested with all the responsibility in the world, we can do nothing about and those things we must make it our business to make them God's business.  

Think with me about the notion that everything that I find objectionable in life must be fixed!  What might be some of the unintended outcomes. One outcome is that we would then place unfair burdens upon the one carrying the difficulty.  Thus one might hear the following,

Why are you not healed?  Why do you keep on falling back into your sinful habits?  Why do you consistently fail in the Faith?  Why do you not have victory in this area of your life?  Why is it impossible for me to win over some other reflection of my selfishness?

I suppose you might sum up these and other life'e experiences with the thought, Life is at times very trying!

Then ask the question, What do these unfair expectations say about God? You've no doubt heard the questions as I have.

If you are God, why don't you heal or provide, or give me (or them) strength, or victory over a sinful habit, or some other thought about being an over-comer? 

I suppose you ight sum up these and other question with the thought,  God is at times very trying!


It seems to me that if God were to take away the objectionable elements of our lives it would also mean that He would then be removing some key elements of our relationship with Him.  For example,

To remove all that is unpleasant and trying would be to remove the necessity for trust in the Lord.  It also would mean that the necessity for grace is now gone.  What would such a thing say about the opportunities to grow through developing a forgiving heart?

Admittedly there are more questions than answers in the above.  However, there are two things that we do know.  First and of prime importance is this.  When our days of trouble are ended we who follow Christ, will know perfect and complete victory. Those nagging vestiges of our sinful flesh will be left behind.   Second, though we are to be responsible, show initiative, live out ethical qualities, still in all, we are but reader-observers of our day.  The true author who is writing the eternal Kingdom of Heaven story is the only one who knows the great purpose in all that is discussed above.

Though it is of little comfort in the midst of trial, temptation, failure, and frustration, it is not that it is our story but it is His story and we get to be a small part of that narrative.  At least for the days we are given on this earth.  Could it be that the pains and discomforts of this life are a part of His story.  Is that not the point of "...all things work together for good for them who are called for the purposes of God?"

"The Cost of the Loss of Personal Initiative?"

Recently I read an interchange on Facebook and it set me to thinking about an aspect of what is constantly being presented to the American public under the guise of news.  It was an interchange in which one respondent spoke of "the man" and "corporations."  His contention seemed to be that these nebulous entities were disadvantaging people.  For the sake of this discussion I shall forgo the fact that even if such entities as did exist they do not possess the power that seem to be given to them.  What was missing in the discussion was the whole matter of personal responsibility. 

Perhaps the reason that there is "the man" and "corporations" is that such notions seek to absolve one of personal responsibility by seeking to blame others.  If I can blame “the man” then I can safely assume victim status and therefore gain a plethora of benefits.  For example if I am a victim, then I can commit a crime and not be held responsible.  If I am a victim then I can assume an entitlement mentality.  If I am a victim, then I “should” be, rather entitled to have that which the next fellow has worked for.  Then comes another of those words, “deserve.”  If I am a victim, then I deserve to have what others have.  It is almost as if there is a proactive entitlement.

Let’s do a reality check here.  In terms of the “corporations” it was as though the employees of those entities were entitled or deserved to work there.  It was an opportunity that had become a right and thus when said corporation did something that may have made perfect business sense but that did not fit the paradigm of "best interest of the employee" the company was seen as "getting over on" the poor disadvantaged employees.

Look!  All of us are victims of something or another.  However, some choose to get on the victim train (a train that goes to nowhere) and some choose to keep a firm hold on personal responsibility and press on with life.   The reality is that the NO ONE can make anyone do anything they are not willing to do.  No one including the large corporation and the unions that are involved can make an employee continue to work for that company, keep an employee from being personally responsible for his own welfare, his own future, etc.   As I read the Facebook interchange a thought two thoughts came to me.  

The problem is twofold.  First, as has been discussed there is the matter of personal responsibility.  Second, there is the matter of personal dependence.  In the matter of dependence, the individual must have become so dependent upon the employer, union, government, etc. that he cannot see himself moving on to a different situation and better opportunities.  This of course is a matter of choice.  

The simple truth of the matter though often avoided, one cannot hand off one’s own personal responsibility.  Problems abound when one comes to believe he can do so and invest these and other entities as their ultimate source of security and care. 

The sad part is that when this happens, another element of life flees from us.  It is the whole matter of seeing and seizing opportunity.  When I divest myself of personal responsibility and become dependent upon another be it union, business, or government, then there is a very real chance that I will not exercise the initiative to seize such opportunities as may be present in my world.  This is the whole problem with extending unemployment over and over again.  Interesting how suddenly people find jobs when the unemployment benefits end.

The real tragedy is not that opportunity is gone it is that initiative is gone.  Even when one comes from a “faith in God” view, still in all it is a matter of personal initiative.  Such is gone because we have come to believe more in what goes on inside the union leadership, corporate office, and government than we believe in and trust in God. Still in all it is personal responsibility lived out in personal initiative with a healthy dose of faith in God, that will carry the day!

Finally, people make choices and we must respect their right to do so.  However, I highly resent that the Congress seems to think that it is their role to fund safety net programs for people who have and continue to make stupid and irresponsible choices.  People must be allowed to be responsible for and to suffer the consequences of their choices.  If nothing else it is a great learning tool.  

So the question becomes, should a person choose to trust his employer, the union, or the government with his present care and future security?  The question then becomes what happens if that business or the union, or yes, the government should fail.  Such a person should then be allowed to suffer the consequences of his choices.  The same would apply to any other “dependency” entity that you might list. 

If a person does not exercise personal responsibility and initiative, and if that person does not provide for the lean times, and if that person then does not put something aside for the future, there is nothing at all wrong with allowing that person to "enjoy" the consequences of his choices!   Now before you class me as a less than caring conservative/libertarian, yes, there are exceptions.  Certainly there are people who need a helping hand up, people who need care because of unfortunate circumstances not of their making, etc.  However, know this one thing!  There are not as many in genuine need as are on the welfare rolls.  There are not as many as the mass media, the evening news, those on the left, academia, and the Beltway Gang of Thieves have led us to think that there are!!!  

Reduce the government give aways, allow people to deal with the harsh realities of personal responsibility, allow people to experience the consequences of their choices, encourage people to be productively take initiative, and watch the economy heat up as people go out and productively resume responsibility for themselves.   Remember this one thing, you cannot give up nor can you give away personal responsibility.  It is one of those things that one simply cannot give away.

"Answer Evil With the Greater Good"

Two years ago four young people--police officers with families, in the prime of career and life, and serving in their community were senselessly executed by an evil mad man.  Later that week he attempted to kill another officer only to meet his own demise--for which many of us are grateful.  Yes, that man and others prove that evil and all that is of the Kingdom of Darkness (Satan's domain) is alive on planet earth.  It will remain so as things go from bad to worse.  While we have an eternal hope in Jesus Christ, there is more in this life than that of some future utopian hope.  Such hope is not without present practice.  It is within that present practice that God's "good" is to answers such evils as was witnessed two years ago and as well other evils be they personal, national, or international.

Just as the Pacific Northwest, here in the USA was on alert for the despicable killer of those four young people, we too need to be on alert since the Devil and his ilk are on the prowl to create chaos, dissatisfaction, disconnect, and yes even murder etc.  There can be no doubt that the killer who is not worthy to have his name repeated, along with his cronies were evil--desperately evil and each worthy of the full measure of such punishment as society might impose upon them!  Not many will agree that the punishment of even those on the periphery was nearly enough.

Such evil bring suffering but it did not end with the four families, their police department, and the community in which they served.  Such evil brings suffering wherever it is allowed to roam unchecked!  This was not only true in this case but also on a broader scale.

One need only look at the suffering Christians in Muslim countries such as Egypt and in places such as Africa to understand that being a Christian is a serious business.  No other faith group has suffered what Christian have suffered and continue to suffer at the hands of Godless communism (Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot) and at the hands of other religious ideologies such as the one just mentioned.

Yet, just as those four served to keep order, preserve right, and stave off lawlessness in their community so too, we who serve the risen Christ must stand for those and other things.  Other things such as those that  bring unity among Christians who are not so in name but in relationship with the risen Christ.  That is so be they Catholic, Orthodox, or Protestant.

Also, we who serve Christ, must seek to preserve that which is right, and live out the laws of the Scriptures--those things that keep us in right relationship with God, then right relationship with one another, and finally right relationship with self.  As my mother used to say, "JOY = Jesus, then Others, then You."

We as Christians often have been taught that we are a hospital for those injured by the world's treatment, fleshly failures, and Satanic attack.  That thought sounds so good and contains some truth but not the full measure of truth for no army has ever been victorious, nor has it held one centimeter of ground by being a hospital for the injured.  Aggressive armies win and so the Kingdom of Heaven's army--the Lord's Army, the Church must march forward in Scripture and prayer, living out the Lord's commands, doing good to all first to other Christians and then outward into the uttermost parts of the world.

God's Kingdom--the Kingdom of Heaven is divided into those here on earth and those now departed to be ever joined with Christ.  The earthly portion is to be the aforementioned army that fights with the weapons of earthly warfare at times but more often wages war with weapons of a spiritual nature, wages war by doing good, wages war by living out ethical truth no matter the cost, and expressing love in practical ways.  You see the weapons of the Christian are mighty to the tearing down of the strongholds built by the Kingdom of Darkness.

We who claim Christ will never be understood by those of the present world order.  Even so we must be ever on guard to do good, stay to the tasks, fulfill our calling, be ever alert at our station be it in the pew, behind the pulpit, in the work place, as a volunteer in some humanitarian enterprise, at leisure, or some other place.  All are responsible to go forward in the Lord and the strength of his might, to be spiritually strong, do good, to do their part!  All are to withstand the chaos of evil and the unraveling of this present world order.

Onward Christian, unite with one another, remember that no matter how many times an evil demented sick and despicable person such as killed the four officers attacks us, no matter how many people seek to defame us, no matter if we are martyred for Christ, lose our reputation in the cause greater than ourselves, if we die of some dread disease in a foreign land, or if we die of old age, we win.  We win because the Kingdom of Heaven of which we are a part ultimately is victorious--eternally victorious until there is but one Kingdom, that of Jesus Christ the Lord!

"Struggling To Do It God's Way"

Values, be they personal, corporate, cultural, or sub-cultural are are founded upon and guided chiefly by two influences.  First and as previous submissions have discussed there are the influences of mores, that is the prevailing standards found in the individual and the previously listed social groups.

Then second and also as previous submission have discussed, there are those transcendent objective universal truths.  These values have their origin from outside of the individual and the previously listed social groups.  A new word to the discussion is the word, "virtue" which is the acting out of these transcendent truths.

There is for some a missing piece to this discussion and it is found in the following article titled, "THE SEEN AND THE UNSEEN" with the subtitle, "The Limits of Human Reason and the Knowledge of God."    

There is the seen, and there is the unseen, the material and the immaterial. That which is material can be scientifically examined and experienced, the immaterial can only be seen and experienced spiritually. These are two worlds that are only seemingly at odds with one another. If you attempt to examine that which is of a spiritual nature using a science that is by its very nature meant to explore the material realm, you will fail.

The things that are of God are far beyond the capabilities of our finite mind to comprehend. The divine can only be known through the nous, that place in the heart that is our true center. It, unlike the brain, is capable of knowledge that is beyond human comprehension, coming as it does from noetic knowledge.

The science of the soul is noetic and can be examined and experience only through the activation of the nous. The nous in Orthodox Christian theology is the "eye of the heart or soul", the mind of the heart. God created us with the nous because the human intellect is not capable of knowing Him without it. The intellect alone can not know God, for human reasoning is limited to the things that are of a material nature. God is unknowable without His divine revelation, and only the nous can perceive this knowledge. God's essence remains inaccessible without noetic knowledge. Science has it's place, but only the heart can know God.

Love in Christ,
Abbot Tryphon

(article available at https://www.facebook.com/pages/All-Merciful-Saviour-Orthodox-Christian-Monastery/104578182913886)

Once again the tension between a closed (material) system and an open (Divinely influenced) system may be seen.  Transcendent objective universal truths are a reflection of the very person and nature of the Divine.  Just perhaps this is the reason that though some desire to live out these principles, they struggle.  Could it be that such understanding and practice as is necessary is only possible because of the "nous?"  Oh, yes, there are those who have such profound volitional strength that they do so but for most people such is a struggle.


It is only as God the Holy Spirit in relationship with and then because of that relationship functions within the human spirit that one can not just understand these Divine principles but also is empowered to live them out.  Such is "Christ-likeness."  Said another way "Christ-likeness" is not being conform in thought and action to mores (cultural relativism) but is simply the living out of God established principles or as others have termed it Divine character principles.  


An attendant discussion then is that to be Christ-like in a secular culture may yield the view that one does not fit in.  It might be well to remember that Jesus did not fit into His culture either.  

"Values Based Decision Making"

A question worth pondering is this.  "What is the basis of making decisions?"  That question could be asked in terms of one's personal life, one's family life, one's employment/business life, and any and all other arenas of one's life.  In most cases the decisions we make or might we say the choices we choose are based upon our values.

The word, "value" or "values" has the following definition available at the site referenced.

Value (n)  c.1300, from O.Fr. value "worth, value" (13c.), noun use of fem. pp. of valoir "be worth," from L. valere "be strong, be well, be of value" (see valiant). The meaning "social principle" is attested from 1918, supposedly borrowed from the language of painting. Value judgment (1892) is a loan-translation of Ger. Werturteil.

 (definition available at http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?l=v&p=1&allowed_in_frame=0)

As you may now recognize the word gives rise to other words such a valuing, valuate, evaluate, etc., all having to do with the process of assigning importance.

Indeed, valuing is a process that begins with one's presuppositions, processes to opinions and attitudes, continues with one's perceptions (of people, institutions, and situations), and often leads to some kind of an action (either words or deeds).

Such processing is not without challenge.  For example, so very often the message sent is that one is to make decisions in terms of how it will impact a relationship or relationships.  The message goes something along the lines of, "...relationships are the most important thing we do and so you must at any and all cost maintain relationships with all who are in your pathway...."  While this may be so in many cases, there is at least one thing that should take precedents over relationships and that is the values by which one lives!

It is a poor relationship that is maintained based upon the violations of one's deeply held values or may we say convictions.  Such a view of relationships will not long endure the challenges of life and in fact will leave one at the mercy of life.  Such can only be described as chaotic and even enabling as relationships pull one in this direction and then in that. Enabling in that relationships without the responsibilities born of values allow for one to behave in less that profitable ways.

In another blog I wrote of love in terms of how one is to behave.  To understand love on the level of an emotional response is to make it fragile and at the mercy of many of the interactions, events, and circumstances of life. However to view love as humbly living out of closely held ethical values is to make it a durable love.  Thus we might see that the choice to live out of ethical values is the highest form of love for it never imposes but always chooses what is best no matter the cost, even at the cost of the relationship involved.

Then too, "What are one's closely held values?" is another question worth considering.  To not know is to leave one's self vulnerable to the winds and tides of the moment.  Attributed to Abraham Lincoln but found in many other places is the quote, "Following the path of least resistance is what causes men and rivers to run crooked."  Certainly when one does not know what one believes and that for which one is willing to suffer great loss, he is vulnerable and disadvantaged.

However, changing that same river picture a bit, we might note the following.  It is our values--our ethical convictions and our character (volitional capacity to live out those values) that provides the river banks that keep the steams of our lives flowing in the right direction.

One not accustomed to such things might counter with the impossibility of such a change.  The response to that is that all could use a "tune up" in these areas and for each of us, it is a matter of beginning with the small things as we live out the simple values and then, at least in my experience, the big issues will take care of themselves.  Then too keep clearly in mind that correct ethical values have their origin in the Divine and though opposed, one who is in right relationship with Jesus Christ is vested with the power, not to be perfect but to live out these things in greater measure.

"Respect"

Respect is a word that has quite a history and over those years of use there are nuances of difference in meaning.  However, which ever period one chooses to view the outcome is the same.  Respect is a matter of how one person treats another.  As to definition consider the following.

Respect is from the Latin respectus and literally means "the act of looking back at one." Included is the notions of "look back at, regard, consider,"  which comes from re- "back" + specere "look at" The verb is from the mid 1500s and means to "treat with deferential regard or esteem."  (adapted from definition found at http://www.etymonline.com/abbr.php) 

Said another way respect is to "treat with reverent or courteous regard—to value, hold in esteem, or high regard.”  In other words, it is a relationship word. 

Some 4,500-6,000 years earlier the Hebrew Language uses the word in the sense of  “to lift” or we would say “to lift up”one's regard for a person or a people.  Then the Greeks came along and added the dimension of feeling and their word meant “to feel respect for.”  Feeling or not, it speaks to the quality of relationship. 

There are it seems to me two applications of the word.

First, it describes how we treat another person.  An example would be in the following.  She treated her the older woman with respect as she listened to her story for the tenth time.  Another way of saying it is that she had a respectful demeanor.

Recently I read the remarks by a young woman by the name of Sara as she wrote of respect.  She works in a local court system and writes about her contact with those who have run afoul of the Law.

"I realized...that the respect I show these people isn't because they have necessarily earned it or deserve it but because there is also an Ethic of Respect.  That Ethic of Respect comes from a decision to intentionally obey the rules of conduct put into place by something greater than just my feelings."

She went on to say, "I don't always respect every customer I come into contact with but I always show them respect..."

Respect is a small gift that each can easily afford to tailor made and then give to another.  One never knows the outcome of such a gift.  It may well be an instrument of change in the life of another.

Second, there is respect as in how we react within.  An example would be the reaction we might have to another who is consistent of character.  One who no matter the winds or tides stays to the course.  It is to be the genuine living out of character qualities.  Such is found in statements as for instance “I respect your honesty.”  We might add other words such as, integrity, punctuality, sensitivity, boldness, determination, dependability, faith, and many others.

Notice that in both cases it does not mean that one has to even like or agree with the person respected.  There can be great respect between people who have different presuppositions about an issue and thus have diametrically opposing viewpoints as they interact based upon the previous list of words and others like them.  Generally speaking respect between even enemies can be maintained when both sides function in not so much a moral but in an ethical manner.

The benefit is that when a person treats even people one does not necessarily like nor gravitate toward, with respect, there is a benefit that will accrue.  Such a benefit may not be readily apparent but more than one person has been "bailed out" by a person who while they disagree with, has received their respect.

"Blame vs. Responsibility"

Sometime ago, someone close to me make a statement, something to the effect,  "The reason I am not a Christian is that you are negative and dour and you claim to be a Christian."

Setting aside his attitude, and while his perception may or may not be true, the fact remains that seeking to divest oneself of responsibility for a faith commitment or any other responsibility by blaming another in no way obviates that blamer of his or her personal responsibility.  Such thinking is akin to "victim thinking" and because it is not legitimate in content and process breaks down rather rapidly.  Yet culture, media, and academia either tacitly or directly has sought to impose upon us the message that given the "politically correct" set of circumstances, given the superior "exclusive truth" one does not have to be responsible.

Consider the "Occupy Wall Street" movement.  In the kind of thinking that prompts such a movement, there is a notion that because they are disadvantaged in some form or another, they do not have to be responsible to obey the law, respect other people's opportunity to make a living, and generally be responsible to respect other people even their fellow protesters.  They seem to believe that they have the superior "politically correct" circumstance that trumps all else and so they can be disrespectful, defecate wherever their please, fulfill their sexual proclivities even at the expense of other protesters, and do other things as they choose.

The real truth is that no amount of "politically correct" permission will absolve a person of responsibility.  One might blame and thus claim victimization because of his surroundings, his family, his culture, his faith, etc. but still in all personal responsibility does not transfer.  As I recently wrote in another venue, one can transfer his or her job to another but not the responsibility for the accomplishing of that job.

So it is that my friend that sought to blame another--me for his failure to make a faith commitment, in no way has absolved himself of responsibility for that commitment.  In fact the sad truth is that such may allow him to sleep the sleep of denial at night but someday it will be revealed for what it is--deception!