The word, "value" or "values" has the following definition available at the site referenced.
Value (n) c.1300, from O.Fr. value "worth, value" (13c.), noun use of fem. pp. of valoir "be worth," from L. valere "be strong, be well, be of value" (see valiant). The meaning "social principle" is attested from 1918, supposedly borrowed from the language of painting. Value judgment (1892) is a loan-translation of Ger. Werturteil.
(definition available at http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?l=v&p=1&allowed_in_frame=0)As you may now recognize the word gives rise to other words such a valuing, valuate, evaluate, etc., all having to do with the process of assigning importance.
Indeed, valuing is a process that begins with one's presuppositions, processes to opinions and attitudes, continues with one's perceptions (of people, institutions, and situations), and often leads to some kind of an action (either words or deeds).
Such processing is not without challenge. For example, so very often the message sent is that one is to make decisions in terms of how it will impact a relationship or relationships. The message goes something along the lines of, "...relationships are the most important thing we do and so you must at any and all cost maintain relationships with all who are in your pathway...." While this may be so in many cases, there is at least one thing that should take precedents over relationships and that is the values by which one lives!
It is a poor relationship that is maintained based upon the violations of one's deeply held values or may we say convictions. Such a view of relationships will not long endure the challenges of life and in fact will leave one at the mercy of life. Such can only be described as chaotic and even enabling as relationships pull one in this direction and then in that. Enabling in that relationships without the responsibilities born of values allow for one to behave in less that profitable ways.
In another blog I wrote of love in terms of how one is to behave. To understand love on the level of an emotional response is to make it fragile and at the mercy of many of the interactions, events, and circumstances of life. However to view love as humbly living out of closely held ethical values is to make it a durable love. Thus we might see that the choice to live out of ethical values is the highest form of love for it never imposes but always chooses what is best no matter the cost, even at the cost of the relationship involved.
Then too, "What are one's closely held values?" is another question worth considering. To not know is to leave one's self vulnerable to the winds and tides of the moment. Attributed to Abraham Lincoln but found in many other places is the quote, "Following the path of least resistance is what causes men and rivers to run crooked." Certainly when one does not know what one believes and that for which one is willing to suffer great loss, he is vulnerable and disadvantaged.
However, changing that same river picture a bit, we might note the following. It is our values--our ethical convictions and our character (volitional capacity to live out those values) that provides the river banks that keep the steams of our lives flowing in the right direction.
One not accustomed to such things might counter with the impossibility of such a change. The response to that is that all could use a "tune up" in these areas and for each of us, it is a matter of beginning with the small things as we live out the simple values and then, at least in my experience, the big issues will take care of themselves. Then too keep clearly in mind that correct ethical values have their origin in the Divine and though opposed, one who is in right relationship with Jesus Christ is vested with the power, not to be perfect but to live out these things in greater measure.
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